I’m not that old, but I’ve been around long enough to know a few things about life, people and behavior. I receive emails on an almost daily basis asking for my financial help and ALWAYS respond. Do you know how often I hear back? About 25% of the time. That used to get under my skin, until I realized that I am not in charge of your outcome…and you’re not in charge of mine. I’m not going to get all philosophical on you, but let me explain.
Your success (or failure) really all comes down to your willingness and effort to change. I can write, plead, explain, beg, scream, outline, and basically do everything in my power to convince you to make the changes necessary to take control of your finances, but it is still in your power to actually do something. While I may have lots of evidence and be living proof that life without debt is possible, until you believe it is possible for you; you’ll always have debt. I may lay out the perfect strategy for paying off your credit cards and avoiding unnecessary interest and even offer to help you make the phone calls to your creditors, but until you decide you’re not okay with the mess you’re living in; I can’t make you change it.
I’m writing this not only as the result of a recent situation that came up, but as a reminder to myself (and everyone else) that as much as I want certain things in life to happen to or for other people, it really isn’t in my control to make them happen. I’m reminded of two pieces of scripture:
“My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, if you have shaken hands in pledge for a stranger, you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth. So do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands: Go—to the point of exhaustion—and give your neighbor no rest! Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids.Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.” (Proverbs 6:1-5)
Change isn’t easy, and is usually painful. If you’ve been comfortable with the status quo, changing only comes when you are forced to change, or when you realize there is enough value in the change to endure the pain of change itself. Let me explain it another way. One of the best talks I ever heard about human behavior and change was on the scientific concept of inertia (of all things!). But look at the definition:
Inertia is the resistance of any physical object to any change in its state of motion, including changes to its speed and direction. It is the tendency of objects to keep moving in a straight line at constant velocity.
We want to stay where we are – to be comfortable and continue on the same path we’re on. But what happens when we’re on the wrong path!? I write this article today to remind you that if you’re on the wrong path, it is up to you to change your path. I am here to help you, but it really is all up to you.
If you’ve decided you need to change paths and want some help to get started, please contact me for coaching. Let me help!