In almost every marriage, there is one partner who simply has no desire to “get on board” with managing money in the household. This usually drives the other partner CRAZY! Let’s address a simple way or two to deal with that.
I used to do a lot of performance consulting in my previous job and we would have this discussion over “will vs. skill” with our business partners just about anytime they came to us and said, “we have a training problem.” The person who doesn’t want to deal with money probably already knows WHAT to do with a budget (has the skill), but doesn’t find it important enough to focus on it with you (doesn’t have the will). There are two angles I’d want you to consider to help:
We are all selfish, so why not just give us a good reason to want to do it for ourselves?! In the professional world, this is called answering the WIIFM (“What’s In It For Me”) question. When I stand up to share with a group or advertise something, I know I MUST answer the WIIFM question very quickly or the audience may or may not sit there and listen! Have you really considered what makes your husband/wife tick? …what really motivates them? Address that and how getting out of debt can and living on a budget help make that better.
Without trying to be over-generous in my generalization of men, I will say that most of us are fixers. We want to fix whatever problem we encounter (including any problem our wives may face, which I’ve learned is not something we’re supposed to do – for you who haven’t yet learned that lesson…LISTEN TO HER – don’t always try to fix it!). Wives, go to your husbands with something along the lines of: “Honey, I have a problem that I really need you to help me with. I’m a little scared and I know you can help. Would you help me figure this out?” Husbands, go to your wife and tell her you’re ready to listen…and then LISTEN!
If you can address both of these angles simultaneously, you may get somewhere. If these don’t work, it is possible there is a maturity issue there and your spouse isn’t mature enough to say ‘no’ to things now so the two of you can have his fun later when there aren’t payments attached. That is EXTREMELY COMMON, so don’t be surprised if your spouse says ‘no’. The reason may be they don’t see a need to change because things aren’t too bad the way they are now. Don’t give up and you may just find one day that they’ll come around.